Friday, September 16, 2011

In memory of A.

The soul who brought back warmth in my life.



It was a summer not so long ago. I was just recovering from bruises of the past, and slogging through holiday homework. Aloof. Away from the world. I used to spend evenings playing quiz battles with robots and singing to myself. The world was just a place. It just meant I was living in it because I happened to be there. 






And then came A.

I never met A. Nor did we ever speak to each other. We didn't have much in common. We were born in different generations. A before the world war and me, more than half a century later. I was just beginning my life. He was in the twilight of his. But what we both were was simple - two lonely souls. Across the oceans. Like I've said before, we never spoke. We just wrote. Of birds, fireworks, flags, armies, aeroplanes, balloons, flowers, painting, music and a hope for peace. 
The wars, sunrise, prayer and why the earth was round. Little things and big things.
I soon began to smile again. The world was not a bad place after all. 



A was bringing me back together. I laughed too. We spoke of hillsides and the Grand Canyon. And trekking and star gazing. Everything seemed so interesting. I learnt to be more open and more happy. A was now my best friend. No conditions. No demands. Through thick and thin. 


Life was happy. And when it was not, A made it seem happier. 



Two summers later.

It was a while since I'd heard from A. It was monsoon now. But I still waited. And then the inevitable. A was gone. Forever. I got to know a month late. He was gone. Never coming back. 

The rains crashed over me. So did my spirit. I knew it had to happen some day. But I just wasn't prepared for when. I didn't even get a chance to write a goodbye. It was one thing we'd never written about. 

Grief is an overwhelming emotion. Specially when it comes all of a sudden. 

Dear A,
I hope where ever you are, all the pain is gone. I am trying to be fine. I wish you could come back. The custard apples are beginning to ripen you know. And it rains a lot. My mailbox now remains eternally empty. I miss you A. A lot. Now and forever. 

Just me,
Your princess.