It was the summer of 2010. I was fresh out of high school and totally confused about what to do next; just like most of the kids my age. I had a general liking for all the subjects. None totally specific. But I thought I was more inclined towards art. And that of course, led to a huge debate about my future during every living room conversation at my home. Suggestions came from everywhere. From my aunt in Chennai to my dad's colleague whom I've never heard of. In short, it was frustrating.
Indecision is a hazardous state of mind. One where you can rip your head or somebody else's. It can be scary and highly irritating. But once the decision is made, its all okay. Even if that isn't the most agreeable one. I'd thought it over and finally decided to give science a shot. I chose Biology, Physics, Chemistry along with the compulsory English and Sanskrit. This was fine. But I didn't get to choose where to go to. And before I knew it, I was shipped to a human factory a.k.a coroporate junior college. I was thrilled.
Yes. That was sarcasm.
Anyway. Its no fun. When you see those colourful posters with beaming students, you will probably imagine that by joining a corporate college, you'll be one of them. When you step into the building for admission, everyone - right from the watchman to the Principal - will seem like the kindest people on Earth. It'll seem like their program is excellent and they'll take care of you, perfectly well. Suddenly you don't understand why that senior of yours warned you against these colleges; they obviously have all the things you need to be a proud rank holder.
And that is where so many kids like me get deceived.
You won't find a single fault in the whole programme created by the institute in week one. Then a few days into week two, the crammed corridors and perenially crowded washrooms and canteen begin to irritate you. And by week four, you would've already started sleeping in classes because of the amazingly comfortable timings. And at the end of the month, you realise how fantastic their tests are and what implications they hold. A score below 120 out of 160 is considered horrendously poor. The lecturers try to compete with light, speeding through their syllabus. And the unfortunate ones who fall behind, just simply give up and teach however they feel like. Oh and all of them have one mantra. If you don't understand something, just byheart (butti) it. Those who are smart (actually stupid later on) enough to follow this religiously can pull through, those who refuse; well they will end up like me. The mock tests decide which class you are in. And it doesn't matter whether you cheat, copy or text answers during the exam. If you have a score above 120, you are a freaking walking god/goddess. You are hailed to save the world with your amazing mock test score.
The unfortunate souls who choose to rebel and spend hours trying to actually make sense of the topics in the book fall back and start getting eaten away in the race. Test scores gradually fall down a sad parabola and you end up miserable. Here, the average student isn't given a chance to try. They are thrown into sections with teachers who love to have conversations with the board or the walls rather than students. And the principle is an eternal nut case who will do everything in his power to put you down. But still, its all okay. The real hearbreak is still ahead.
The Intermediate board Public Exam or IPE are funny exams. Although they have an official and hefty name, they are mostly farse. 70% chances are the questions asked over the past decade or 5 years will be repeated. So you technically know the question paper.You HAVE to stick to the points mentioned in the book. Any slight deviation will cost you dear. The practicals are literally a practical joke on the average student. The are totally rigged. The college bribes the external and the 'star' students get full marks even though they don't know the 'm' in microscope or 'd' in dissection while poor average kids who slog and learn it the hard way are very fairly given a less than deserving score. You can cheat in the boards oh-so-easily and if you get caught, chances are pretty high you can bribe your way out. Some centres have such liberal invigilators that Rs 2500 will buy you a ticket to copy from the nerd in the hall. And the result for the honest hard working kids? Heartbreak of course. You end up feeling extremely disappointed and later on you are filled with a rage right from the fiery pit of hell to shoot the callous education ministry and burn their remains along with the college.
And by the time the entrance exams to various institutes are looming ahead, most of the students are too tired and fed up to put up a strong fight. Its a losing battle anyway. End result : A rank which will get you no where or a promising year ahead to try again.
Its a rat race. There are too many rats and all of them bite. Some can cause the plague too. You will be pushed, thrown, kicked and slapped on your face or have your tail cut on the track. But in the end, no one cares how you come out as long as you win. No one bothers if the winner is the stupidest rat with a really good streak of luck or a badly bruised and half dead smart rat. Nothing matters as long as the winner makes it alive.
The dictionary comes up with a really good meaning for the word 'ratrace'. It is a term used for an endless, self defeating pursuit. It conjures up the image of the fultile efforts of a lab rat while running around in a maze or on a wheel. In an analogy to the modern city, many rats in a single maze expend a lot of effort running around, but ultimately achieve nothing, either collectively or individually. There couldn't be better words to summarise this two year ordeal.
I always thought i was the unfortunate, slow rat which tried but never made it. But now, I've realised something which was so obvious. I am not a rat. I don't have to run this race. I'm human. I will do something worthwile in life. Maybe not the mock tests, or the competitive entrances. But there sure is something really good waiting for me. Its been 702 days. To be very precise, 60,652,800 seconds. I've served my sentence and I'm out now. Not looking back. Ever.
Indecision is a hazardous state of mind. One where you can rip your head or somebody else's. It can be scary and highly irritating. But once the decision is made, its all okay. Even if that isn't the most agreeable one. I'd thought it over and finally decided to give science a shot. I chose Biology, Physics, Chemistry along with the compulsory English and Sanskrit. This was fine. But I didn't get to choose where to go to. And before I knew it, I was shipped to a human factory a.k.a coroporate junior college. I was thrilled.
Yes. That was sarcasm.
Anyway. Its no fun. When you see those colourful posters with beaming students, you will probably imagine that by joining a corporate college, you'll be one of them. When you step into the building for admission, everyone - right from the watchman to the Principal - will seem like the kindest people on Earth. It'll seem like their program is excellent and they'll take care of you, perfectly well. Suddenly you don't understand why that senior of yours warned you against these colleges; they obviously have all the things you need to be a proud rank holder.
And that is where so many kids like me get deceived.
You won't find a single fault in the whole programme created by the institute in week one. Then a few days into week two, the crammed corridors and perenially crowded washrooms and canteen begin to irritate you. And by week four, you would've already started sleeping in classes because of the amazingly comfortable timings. And at the end of the month, you realise how fantastic their tests are and what implications they hold. A score below 120 out of 160 is considered horrendously poor. The lecturers try to compete with light, speeding through their syllabus. And the unfortunate ones who fall behind, just simply give up and teach however they feel like. Oh and all of them have one mantra. If you don't understand something, just byheart (butti) it. Those who are smart (actually stupid later on) enough to follow this religiously can pull through, those who refuse; well they will end up like me. The mock tests decide which class you are in. And it doesn't matter whether you cheat, copy or text answers during the exam. If you have a score above 120, you are a freaking walking god/goddess. You are hailed to save the world with your amazing mock test score.
The unfortunate souls who choose to rebel and spend hours trying to actually make sense of the topics in the book fall back and start getting eaten away in the race. Test scores gradually fall down a sad parabola and you end up miserable. Here, the average student isn't given a chance to try. They are thrown into sections with teachers who love to have conversations with the board or the walls rather than students. And the principle is an eternal nut case who will do everything in his power to put you down. But still, its all okay. The real hearbreak is still ahead.
The Intermediate board Public Exam or IPE are funny exams. Although they have an official and hefty name, they are mostly farse. 70% chances are the questions asked over the past decade or 5 years will be repeated. So you technically know the question paper.You HAVE to stick to the points mentioned in the book. Any slight deviation will cost you dear. The practicals are literally a practical joke on the average student. The are totally rigged. The college bribes the external and the 'star' students get full marks even though they don't know the 'm' in microscope or 'd' in dissection while poor average kids who slog and learn it the hard way are very fairly given a less than deserving score. You can cheat in the boards oh-so-easily and if you get caught, chances are pretty high you can bribe your way out. Some centres have such liberal invigilators that Rs 2500 will buy you a ticket to copy from the nerd in the hall. And the result for the honest hard working kids? Heartbreak of course. You end up feeling extremely disappointed and later on you are filled with a rage right from the fiery pit of hell to shoot the callous education ministry and burn their remains along with the college.
And by the time the entrance exams to various institutes are looming ahead, most of the students are too tired and fed up to put up a strong fight. Its a losing battle anyway. End result : A rank which will get you no where or a promising year ahead to try again.
Its a rat race. There are too many rats and all of them bite. Some can cause the plague too. You will be pushed, thrown, kicked and slapped on your face or have your tail cut on the track. But in the end, no one cares how you come out as long as you win. No one bothers if the winner is the stupidest rat with a really good streak of luck or a badly bruised and half dead smart rat. Nothing matters as long as the winner makes it alive.
The dictionary comes up with a really good meaning for the word 'ratrace'. It is a term used for an endless, self defeating pursuit. It conjures up the image of the fultile efforts of a lab rat while running around in a maze or on a wheel. In an analogy to the modern city, many rats in a single maze expend a lot of effort running around, but ultimately achieve nothing, either collectively or individually. There couldn't be better words to summarise this two year ordeal. I always thought i was the unfortunate, slow rat which tried but never made it. But now, I've realised something which was so obvious. I am not a rat. I don't have to run this race. I'm human. I will do something worthwile in life. Maybe not the mock tests, or the competitive entrances. But there sure is something really good waiting for me. Its been 702 days. To be very precise, 60,652,800 seconds. I've served my sentence and I'm out now. Not looking back. Ever.
